This post is for those of you who have gotten rejected.
If you think you keep getting rejected because of H, it’s time to reconsider your dating strategy. It has NOTHING to do with H!
That simply means you disclose your status too early. The truth is the genuinely interested person will have no choice other than suck it up and accept the fact because everything else about you is so damn cool!
H is NOTHING compared to a million other issues people deal with on the daily basis – alcoholism, drug addiction, life-threatening health conditions, severe financial difficulties, mental sickness, etc. BUT you MUST give your partner some time to get to know you before you get intimate. Just place yourself in your partner’s shoes – why do you think he or she should accept you? I wouldn’t. Excuse me, but who do you think you are? I wouldn’t take the risk if I didn’t know how wonderful you are regardless this MINOR issue that doesn’t define you! And if he/she walks away, WHEW! Thank God you didn’t waste more time on someone superficial who was only interested in your body. So the goal here is NOT to get accepted, but to meet the right person!
There’s always time to give your body to the right person (note that only the right one will be willing to wait) but there’s little time to let them see your soul. Your book WILL be judged by its cover. Which style would you prefer YOUR cover to be?
I’ve told many men I have it – hot and not, wealthy and less fortunate… I’ve turned down most of them before we even got intimate because it was MY choice if I liked them or not. As amazing as sex can be, it’s still just a bi-product of a solid relationship with a foundation into which time and patience have been invested. If you try to oppose Mother Nature and place sex before all, you fail right from the start.
That leads to the next aspect of dating with H. How do you stop thinking about sex? Time to visit a sex shop! It’s the 21st century for goodness’ sake.
Or get yourself busy! There are too many things to embrace in life than spend it focusing on sex or the lack of thereof. I didn’t realize I was ENSLAVED by this basic drive until I got H. I started seeing so many beautiful things once I emotionally freed myself from it.
Let’s dig deeper and see why H is so emotionally devastating to most people. It’s nothing more than the delusional belief that sex life – and therefore life itself – is over. This belief is as true as the elephants holding the flat earth! It’s the adjustments we realize we’ll have to make and the fear of the unknown future that make us feel so insecure. Nothing more. I came from the same club, unaware of the support groups at the most critical time of my life, and let me tell you – not only life wasn’t over, it had just began! Once I realized I had been focusing on the wrong things, attracting the wrong people, and wasting my time away, I’ve been able to free myself and work on getting my life together, building the MEANINGFUL future. Shockingly, the pieces of my life started to fall into places.
So ask yourself: is it really H or is it your superimposed believes (adorned by a low self-esteem) that interfere with your happiness?
I have been rejected. Once. To get pursued by him later, once he took his time to digest the news. We had known each other 3 years before. And I was the one who eventually rejected him. He was my boss after all. And guess who got fired? Him. For reasons that had absolutely nothing to do with H.
The impact your own ‘delusions’ about H make on you equals your fear of the unknown. You have 2 options: 1. Lock yourself up with what you’ve heard and perceived about H before you actually found out what it’s like to live with it, and I mean LIVE, not drag the stigma behind yourself. And 2. Change your approach to life to enjoy it more than you ever have. Dating success will follow.
Everything happens for a reason. And I don’t care if it’s true or not. If what you believe keeps your head above the water – it’s true! If you believe in yourself – other people will too! Live your life to the fullest, not fool-est.
Oh, and the last piece of advice: don’t limit yourself to the H-dating sites, in fact, any online dating sites. You have to get your cute butt out there and meet people in person. And I don’t mean local bars. I mean interest-based groups, such as meet-up.com. Remember: It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the oil.