A pal on this site inspired me to write about this, to show ppl that even though it seems scary, and may make you feel like your life has come to a screeching halt, life doesn’t end after herpes. In fact, life moves on, and you come to see that though it can be a pain from time to time, it doesn’t stop you from living… The only one to do that is you… What? Don’t believe me??? Read on, then see what you think 🙂
Waaaaaay back when, in 2007 I was diagnosed with RA (rheumatoid arthritis), an auto immune disease in which your immune system attacks healthy joints in the body causing inflammation, pain, stiffness, swelling, redness and warmth of the affected are; not to mention fatigue, malaise, and muscles aches and pain. Add in the fun medication I had to be on and THEIR side effects, and you had one lovely lady who felt like a ticking time bomb, ready to explode apart at the joints. With a disease with no cure, that’s guaranteed to only get worse over time, and cause my body to slowly breakdown and fall apart, who on earth would want to sign up for that?
Well I get on the meds, and start feeling better. Slowly I don’t feel so scared and things feel brighter in my life. The weight loss brought on by the disease levels off and stops… And I get back to being a Healthy, happy, only slightly broken me. I think to myself… Ok… So I can do this. I can find happiness.
Enter the dirtbag … Who was someone I had been friends with for a few years… Mostly just chatted. One night of alcohol, suppressed feelings, and a little too much trust on my part, and I end of with a new friend for life. So when they tell you to wear protection… Cause you cant trust people… They really mean it! Well… Lesson … The hard way… I definitely learned!
A few months later I feel one of the worst pains I have had to endure in my life, right up there with my pre med RA days of barely being able to hobble up or down a flight of stairs, or roll out of bed… It was that bad. Break down finally and go get it checked out…. And life comes to a screeching halt yet again…. Yes, you have genital herpes. Hey don’t worry it’s not the worst thing in the world, says the doctor who diagnosed me in the ER…. It will be alright.
Remember my auto immune disease? Yea well the meds I take to help this… Suppress my already shot immune system… Guess what this means? I am more likely to pass it on due to my body having a much harder time suppressing it. Viral shedding for me is a big problem… As I could be shedding and not have any idea… Fun right? Not!
Well then I found this awesome place, talked to some wonderful people, and after some pro and con listing, talked to my doc and got daily suppressants.
Enter the love of my life, who even with all the fun extras I come with, was able to see past it all to the real me behind it all. We fell in love, and now are engaged 🙂 he wasn’t the only one though! He was just the RIGHT one 😉 I dated for a few years before we met and I was rather surprised at how accepting the ppl were that I dated. Mind you I was upfront and honest, and made sure they had all their ducks in a row before things got serious. But guess what? Things would still get serious! SURPRISE!
So moral of my story?
1) people are much more open to things they you may think. The key is being open with them. I did meet one person who was not open to the idea, but I didn’t hold it against them. Just don’t let it deter you if someone isn’t as open… The next one probably will be 😉
2) no matter how bleak things may seem, you can, and if you try, WILL over come it. If you give up, then by all means you will fail, but if you keep your head up, find places like this, or people you can trust to talk to when shit hits the fan, you can make it through some amazingly trying times!
3) herpes does not define who you are! You are still the awesomely amazing person you were BEFORE you were diagnosed, and you will still continue to that same person of awesomeness afterwards. Only one to stop you for being awesome? You! Hokey sounding, I know, but it’s the truth.
So, I say again, even if things are scary, bleak, and unsure for you right now, know that you are definitely not alone. Also know life goes on, and life can still turn out to have the amazing happy ending you’ve dreamed of your whole life, no matter what that ending may be. Stay strong, and keep an open mind and heart.
Oh! And don’t forget, you are awesome 😉